j&i turned one yesterday! it feels a bit strange because even though we've been together for one year, we spent more than half of that apart. so its been very different. we needed to learn to cope with the challenges that come with an ldr, sorting out issues through technology instead of face to face (but i guess, we also have to extremely grateful for technology! otherwise we might be stuck with having to write letters and wait for weeks/months for that one letter or just really expensive phonecalls). but yeah! its truly been an experience and i think ive learnt/grown (him too i hope!) through all this. & at least we're now only a 5 hour car ride/1 hour plane ride away as compared to 7-8 hours plane ride. ldr has been tough & no one knows what the future holds, but like he always says, we can trust that God is in control and our future will be whatever He deems best.

on the other hand im really glad i went for prayer&praise last night. p&p at this point doesnt mean much to me since i just came back, am yet to be connected back to a cg and am still trying to settle back in. easy as it sounds, as homely as it may be, there are still adjustments to be made and things to get used to. that being said, im still really thankful that i have a home church to return to(: however, i was really reminded of the importance of coming together as a community to support & encourage each other in this journey. and also reminded about prayer from the book of matthew, chpt 6. he went through the purpose of prayer, the promises of prayer and the power of prayer. ive always been one to struggle with prayer because its something i dont think ive grasped fully as a reality in my life. i know what it is and i can describe its power but i dont think its a reality in my life. perhaps i have yet to fully understand what the power of prayer is. but before that i need to understand the purpose of prayer, the purpose of prayer is definitely not for us to gain glory or for others to see, it is not something we do "for show", but it is about God's glory. first and foremost prayer is not about us, but about Him. so it doesnt matter where we pray, how we pray, whether in front of others or not, thats not the key, the key is God. prayer is a continual communion with God, it isnt performing for people. we need a pure heart as we come before Him in prayer. i hope that this year, ill be able to learn how to pray as someone who believes fully in it, knowing that God will answer, in His own time & in His own way, but He will answer. 

ill just end off with a couple of quotes from the sermon 

"prayer is much more God instructing us than ever it is God being instructed by us" - martin luther

"prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God" - mother theresa

Lord, teach us how to pray