My restlessness over the past few days have really made look forward to the next placement. I dont know if I'm just being moody or if there's really anything bothering me or what but thats just the way it is.

But I'm thankful today. thankful for the netball team that I have that I can play netball every week even though I'm not that great at it. Thank you for allowing me to experience playing team sports and being part of a team.

I thank God too,for renewed friendships, for the courage of a friend to talk things through face to face despite the awkwardness and humility needed.  It meant a lot to me even though it might not have seemed so.  Even though it brought up past hurts and past mistakes which also hurt, I'm glad he made the effort to resolve it. Not because it wasnt resolved on my part, for honestly, that was the least of my hurts and unresolved issues that I had to go through and I had moved on since.  Perhaps because I was so disappointed that I let go of the friendship completely and did not expect anything. But still, I'm thankful and it encouraged me to see God work in the lives and hearts of other people too.

A friend leaves tonight as well and he wrote me a card, albeit unexpected. Unexpected that he would bother to write a card for me, unexpected that his card would bring tears to my eyes.  like he said, we're not really close friends but i guess, a person doesnt have to be close to make an impact in your life. He reminded me that I have friends who care about me here too, there are times when I feel so tempted to say I have no friends, or that all that I do is in vain. But I guess there are some people who do see the effort I put in. that I do have friends although our friendship may be different. yah i might just be falling into the trap of words that people say but it still means a lot to me!

Sometimes I feel like I've really been through so much here. Each year brought so many challenges of its own and they were all on top of my studies. Four years later, I'm now hopefully a matured and more humble person and all ready to go back home! I thank God for each and every memory, both good and bad, but I'm also ready to move on.  As much as I will miss this place, miss the people here, but I've seen so many people come and go that sometimes it feels like its my turn too.  such a internal struggle sometimes. being at a place temporarily. or not?

makes me wonder if the future leads me to another country, what happens then? life is indeed fleeting