sunday the sabbath

haven't done any work today but ive done a lot of thinking and i went for a run! (:

http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/

some of these apply to me very strongly! i didnt even think much about the introvert extrovert thing until i came to australia. i think ive really grown to understand myself better and accept things about myself. although i still struggle with it, and i dont like to be misunderstood, but ive learn to find my security in God. to know that even if people think about me wrongly, or even if people do not like me, its okay. i dont have to be miss popular or the one that everyone loves or the center of attention or the social butterfly, but im content with the friendships that God has given me and I invest in them, share my life with them and simply be a friend. too much hanging out can really drain me, but having deep personal conversations can go on for hours at end.

i hope though, that people are able to look past my flaws and see God who is working a change in me as I grow and mature. that people will see beyond me to see the God who created me and who moulds me.

This is something that a close friend shared, something I hold closely to heart, a difficult prayer, but a sincere one.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me and deliver me, Jesus:
From the desire of being esteemed,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honoured,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved

From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebuke
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected.

And Jesus, grant me the grace to desire
that others might be loved more than I
that others may be esteemed more than I
that in the opinion of the world others may decrease and I may increase

that others may be chosen and I set aside
that others may be praised and I unnoticed
that others may be preferred to me in everything
that others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should.

this is so difficult sometimes, to really cast aside the "self". but a sincere prayer that i hold on to and struggle with and would like to share with you. the same friend shared with me how she read a book about a guy who lived his life to be forgotten, if only Christ will be remembered... so much to learn