Two years ago, I was just starting work - single, available, free. I wasn't in a cell, wasn't serving in church, wasn't studying, wasn't preparing for a wedding. I was simply enjoying the transition back to Singapore, settling back into church work and family. Now, I am preparing for a wedding - everyone is an event planner of some sorts here, stepping up at work, serving in momentum, I have a Cg I love, I'm taking 3 modules at bgst, I'm back in contact with those who matter, and I have 3 'families' to care for (mine, his, and ours).
Fast forward another 2 years and I wonder where we will be? Will we be blessed with a little one to care for and love? I can see my life changing another 180degrees if that happens.
When you see people whose lives are taken away from them in an instant - perhaps not life itself, but their dreams their aspirations their plans. Questions like whether they will see their kids grow up, graduate, get married becomes real. I think j and I are truly blessed in that we have both our parents still healthy and going strong at this point! Every year and every moment becomes precious and dear.
So even as we prepare for the wedding, the most stressful and difficult thing is actually the guest list. Because it involves relationships. Even if the food isn't nice, even if my dress doesn't fit or I look terrible, even if my decor doesn't work out, honestly that doesn't matter. But I want my friends helping to feel happy to be part of the preparation but not overworked. I want my guests to feel happy to be invited but not obligated to come; I want them to know that this friendship counts. I want my marriage to count more than the wedding. But it isn't easy, there are limitations, expectations, and different perspectives. We need lots of wisdom for this.
I'm thankful though for all the help we've been getting. Couldnt imagine doing without any! From advise from friends who've been through it, from those who offer help, and those who simply are there. Thankful to justin too for being so helpful because guys are known to be less active when it comes to the wedding! Of course, we've had our "you arent doing anything!" arguments as well.
At this moment we're almost down to the 100 day mark so its almost-panic time. !! its going to be stressful from now till June but I'm sure we'll enjoy the process as well!
Yay! Now, time to wait for the leave calendar to open so I can book my marriage leave and honeymoon leave!
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