what if your blessings come through raindrops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc

i am too emotional for my own good.. was fighting to hold back tears at work today. i didnt think there was anything wrong with me but she did. my nervousness, my lack of confidence, my judgement calls.. nothing went well today. as each patient passed, my confidence took a bigger hit each time.

how ironic because yesterday when i was reflecting on my day this was what i said "thesis submitted, graduation filed, 6 days left for placement and one exam. the end does fly by doesnt it! sometimes the last bit gets really draggy and you really cant wait to get it over with, but this time, i feel like time is passing so fast and im trying to grab hold onto whatever's left. its scares me now to see how in about two months, i will leave australia and everything will just fade into a memory. even though at the same time, im excited to start a new season of life. oh gosh, i sound confused. i guess this is what they call - mixed feelings."

and today its just one of those days where i feel .. like what am i doing here. why is it so difficult, that after four years, i have yet to overcome this barrier of communication. is this profession really meant for me? will i really get comfortable in this? what am i actually good at doing?! do i actually have to be good at something?

okay too many questions...

[edit: after my netball game]
last game of netball ever over! ): its been such a good time learning how to play a ball game and a team game. ive learnt so much through this and who would have though i would have ever been able to play a ball game??? will definitely miss having weekly netball games. considering picking up a new sport/continuing with something when i go back to sg! the ifs and whens. the many possibilities

last ocf session tomorrow as well. too many lasts. my heart cannot take this.

so there you go, all my emotional drama in 24 hours. BUT, i have my bubble tea from the housemate that i love and loves me very much. i have a muffin and a coffee waiting for me tomorrow morning. SO TOMORROW WILL BE A GOOD DAY. i will have a good breakfast and remember that my Daddy goes with me wherever I go, and I will make it because I know he will bring me through.....

so thank God because He is worthy of all praise and He is good regardless of how i feel or my circumstances. and thank God because I dont have to impress anyone on this earth, neither do i have to prove myself to anyone.

goodnight world! x