The wedding journey

The wedding journey has seen me work with TONS of people on creating something that I would love, its been an amazing journey and I just thought I'll share some of them in my little space.

1. Jean from http://baisimu.tictail.com/ 

She does stamps that can be customized. We are planning to use this to stamp on the back of our invitation cards. She's very responsive, fast, and helpful as well! a true joy to work with. Most of all her stamps are amazing and its so easy to talk to her! I've been raving about her so much even though I havent actually received the stamps, because they look so incredible in the photos she sent me.

2. Ken from the Hanger Artist - beautiful hangers! I did it for my bridal party as well. (: Good quality and he now delivers in boxes too! Delivers them personally all the way to your home. Also someone who's very prompt and friendly in his replies. to me, thats very important. I dont like working with people who makes me feel like I'm being too demanding or as if I'm asking too many questions.

3. Agnes from The Postcard Press - she does handlettered works that can be framed up to be used for decorations at the reception table etc. She answered all my questions diligently and her works are beeautiful! She's also preparing for her own wedding so she's quite busy now, but if you have a longer runway, do consider her!

- to be continued ! rushing off to prepare for a wedding. 4th wedding of the year.. also, 3rd funeral in the last six months.

Death

One of our therapy assistants passed away today, it came as a shock. I missed the party at his house just a few weeks ago because I was working, didnt know that would be my last chance of ever seeing him again.

He has gone through so much since his back infection, I guess we thought the worse was over. I see a lot of deaths at work, but very seldom does it affect me in a personal manner. I am very fortunate in that my family is still very much complete, even my extended ones. so allow me to grieve for a little while..

I will miss him and his smile of encouragement to take things step by step and get through the day.
I will miss him supporting me when others bully me and helping me to stand up for what is right.
I will miss him talking and encouraging the patients in the various exercises they are doing.
I will miss his help in helping me whenever I need some.
I will miss him reminding me to take care of myself as well.
I will miss his presence, simply, knowing that he is around.

I have missed him at work, but now I will miss him forever.

He was a very kind soul, wanting to continue to contribute to society even when he was able to retired. Hosting us at his house just to bless us. Life is truly fragile, I hope we can all learn to be like him - to enjoy what we do, to give our best in all that we do, knowing that it is worthwhile. To treasure the time we have, not just to rest and to indulge in holidays, but to spend time with those who matter and to contribute in ways we can. I hope we will live life knowing the hope of Christ, even in the here and now life. I hope, I will learn to embrace life and all that God has encompassed in it here in this lifetime.

Life

With Justin away, it gives me so much more time to think about life.

Two years ago, I was just starting work - single, available, free. I wasn't in a cell, wasn't serving in church, wasn't studying, wasn't preparing for a wedding. I was simply enjoying the transition back to Singapore, settling back into church work and family. Now, I am preparing for a wedding - everyone is an event planner of some sorts here, stepping up at work, serving in momentum, I have a Cg I love, I'm taking 3 modules at bgst, I'm back in contact with those who matter, and I have 3 'families' to care for (mine, his, and ours).

Fast forward another 2 years and I wonder where we will be? Will we be blessed with a little one to care for and love? I can see my life changing another 180degrees if that happens.

When you see people whose lives are taken away from them in an instant - perhaps not life itself, but their dreams their aspirations their plans. Questions like whether they will see their kids grow up, graduate, get married becomes real. I think j and I are truly blessed in that we have both our parents still healthy and going strong at this point! Every year and every moment becomes precious and dear.

So even as we prepare for the wedding, the most stressful and difficult thing is actually the guest list. Because it involves relationships. Even if the food isn't nice, even if my dress doesn't fit or I look terrible, even if my decor doesn't work out, honestly that doesn't matter. But I want my friends helping to feel happy to be part of the preparation but not overworked. I want my guests to feel happy to be invited but not obligated to come; I want them to know that this friendship counts. I want my marriage to count more than the wedding. But it isn't easy, there are limitations, expectations, and different perspectives. We need lots of wisdom for this.

I'm thankful though for all the help we've been getting. Couldnt imagine doing without any! From advise from friends who've been through it, from those who offer help, and those who simply are there. Thankful to justin too for being so helpful because guys are known to be less active when it comes to the wedding! Of course, we've had our "you arent doing anything!" arguments as well.

At this moment we're almost down to the 100 day mark so its almost-panic time. !! its going to be stressful from now till June but I'm sure we'll enjoy the process as well!

Yay! Now, time to wait for the leave calendar to open so I can book my marriage leave and honeymoon leave!

seek God

I haven't blogged in a Long Long time. But I'm back today(: today is the first day of the 40 days before Easter. Our church is engaging in a Wednesday lunch fast and corporate prayer at 10pm.

This Monday at mentoring, we shared on wilderness. At the heart of our wilderness is a redemptive journey. My take away was to seek God with my whole heart. That has been what i have been dwelling on the past 3 days. Seek God and surrender. Surrender my rights, my rights to plan my future, to plan my wedding, my rights to things in life. Even if these are rights which are rightfully mine, I ought to let go.

The next few months will be busy. I can already feel it
Wedding prep, bgst, students, momentum. Each part of my life is challenging in itself, and I am doing it all at once. So lots of prayer, lots of dependence on God. But also lots of seeking God. Not seeking God for answers to my questions and requests, but seeking God for him. Seeking God to be Lord of all this in my life.

I know we will get through this, we will. And soon, in 108 days - we will be married. I can't wait! So in the midst of endless todolists - unmeasured beds, unprinted invites, undone invites, unconfirmed guest lists, unbought dresses and decor, unconfirmed programmes, unbought home, undone assignments,uncertain challenges. I know we can praise him and look forward with great expectancy (: