Wedding prep

Wedding prep has been more difficult than expected. Its hard to admit, because you always hear jokes about bridezillas and people going overboard; and how the wedding is a day but marriage a lifetime, and you tell yourself how you dont want to go overboard, you just want a simple, meaningful one but even that in itself is a challenge. there are so many things i could want as a girl and so many things justin could do without as a guy. and when working styles are different then people clash. and come to think of it, it is the 'first'/'biggest' project then both of us are working on together since we have met. All along our lives are pretty much our own but we support each other through life, but now one final decision has to be made for the both of us. towards one goal.

so yes, there has been some tension and some quarrels and we are learning to deal with it. to deal with the differences in perspectives, in priorities, in finances. and thats all part of this learning journey of getting to know each other better, and learning to love each other better. Im also learning to respect him more, to give him space to lead, to grow and sometimes it really isnt easy. I'm thankful for MPC where its a safe space for us to talk about our challenges, to discuss not just concepts but to see what that means in real life. 

I was also reading up on what it means to respect, and I think one thing that really hit me is how I need to learn to let God work in his life to help him grow. that its not about me dragging him towards God or pushing him to lead but to just back off and let God do the work in him. Often I say things that are too critical, too emotional, and that puts a lot of pressure on him. 

So yes, this wedding journey has been fun, meaningful but also a learning experience. Learning more about myself and about him and us as a couple.  Learning how to put across my opinions in a gentle, non-assertive manner. At the end of the day this marriage is to reflect Christ; and to help us grow towards Christlikeness. 

(and really, how much of these wedding stuff really matters? the head says its not important, but the heart still wants it. and i will not deny it any longer that yes, there are certain dreams that i have about my wedding and im still learning to manage expectations vs reality of budget/time/resources and not needing to have a perfect wedding. so yes, theres still so much for me to learn!)