graduation

my last post didnt publish! so its backdated a few days to just before i left nz.

but anyway, here i am, 2nd last night in campbell street. four years of my life is about to come to a close, and into a new season i come. and im excited(: whats ahead in store for me i do not know, but i know that in this four years, through the hills and valleys, the messiness ive created through time&time, the friendships ive made, the lessons ive learnt, all these have moulded me into a different person from four years ago when i first stepped into Australia. is it a good change? i hope so.

im really thankful that i have this opportunity for my entire family to come for my graduation and travel around NZ with me. many people travel around NZ with friends - we might be able to see more/do more but i wouldnt exchange this for anything in the world. for how understanding my parents have been as well even with the costly mistakes ive made - ive come to realise how supportive they are in their own ways. its tough raising up children and i know all my parents want is the best for all of us.

i am looking forward though to going back home and settling into a sort of routine. not that that is going to happen in the next few weeks, so much is happening that its all kind of a blur.  fly home, j visits (!!yay), korea trip, settling employment stuff, friends to catch up & visit. before i know it, it'll be CNY & ill be starting work. still, im really thankful for this 2 months of play that I get to enjoy before I start work. with great company as well. in fact, all this started from the melbourne trip. one of the longest & more intense holidays ive ever had - which makes it kind of different & special to mark the transition i guess! definitely cant take this for granted though, so many factors was necessary in order for this to be possible.

& lastly, its <72 hours before i see J again. its been 8 months since we've not seen each other (other than through our computer/phone/ipad screens). i wonder how it will feel like, many thoughts run through my head but i guess all we can do is to wait & see what actually happens. its still all a buzz of excitement! i have no idea where we are going to go but i guess that does not matter, does it?

im also so blessed to have a friend willing to come to pick me from the airport & take leave to spend time with me ! the first one to see me the moment i touch down onto home ground. x o

Singapore is my home no matter what people say. and im going back home(:

It's amazing how some mistakes can be so costly, just by missing out one little detail 

It's amazing how a few seconds of an earthquake can cause years of destruction

It's amazing how we can think we are in control of so much but we aren't. We are all prone to mistakes and to the one in control of it all

But at least, I know I can take comfort in that which I hope for, eternity with Christ. Forgiveness through Christ. Perfection through christ at the very end. 

A glimpse of nz! 

At the glacier (: really amazin place!

We can celebrate Christmas wherever we are!

The glaciers ;)

Horse trekking at lake tekapo! One of my favourite places 

Milford sounds (: really serene and peaceful scenery hidden in a corner! Steep mountains rising out of waters, hidden waterfalls and lots and lots of seals!

Lastly, lupins! My favourite purple flower which is actually a weed. Hahaha! 

See you in a bit brissy x

Because how will it be like when we meet again? And how will it be like when you turn and walk away again? 

But for that few hours, it will be worth it. I believe

It's been a good time spent with family and exploring the whole of nz:) such a pretty place! Excited to get back to brissy though and visit familiar places once again (: and then back home to Singapore! Indeed, it feels like a different adventure. It does feel like graduation(: 

For everything that You have provided & blessed me with, thank you (: 

Though patience and love is what I need! Not just to tolerate but to love when it is difficult:) 

preparing for the arrival of the family

this todolist never ends

getting sim cards
changing money
settling car
rent issues
shipping
uni paperwork
contract
registration paperwork
booking accomodation
saying goodbyes

but, if all this would make the trip smoother and better, so be it(: really excited for the next month of family holiday! im sure it will be a whole heap of fun ^^

right now, i just need to get through tomorrow. PEACE!

may He increase, and I decrease

Do we know the weight of these words - to let Him increase and I decrease
to live to be forgotten, so that He may be remembered

For at the end of the day, these things on earth will not matter.
how well we "fit in", how much we achieve (even in our ministry), all this is not about us - can we fully grasp?
that our friends remember not us, but God. is that something we truly understand?

& as i stood there thinking how out of place i was, i also remembered how the few people made such a difference. i learnt so much about what it means to be not of the world. if we do not conform to this world, then the world will not understand why. it will not feel comfortable, it will not feel natural, but that is alright. we do not belong here.

melbourne was good(:
AGM was great. at the end of AGM it dawned on me that this was it. when i said bye to jennibeth, to karina, to rachel. it was like truly saying goodbye. closing a chapter of this season in OCF UQ. everything that I've learnt in the past four years, everything that God has done in me and through me, we're now moving on. emotions overwhelm. beyond the waves & the hugs, and the see you next years, i know, that things will change. but it has been a sweet four years, pivotal moments of my life
when people say that ive done well, i can only say thank you. but it is actually God who has truly given me the strength to pull through. God who has worked in the hearts of me, of those around me, He who has binded us together. who would have known that halfway through i was contemplating giving up? that there came a point where i thought i could not do it anymore. that there were things that i wanted to do but didnt. things that i shouldnt have done, but did. but at the end of the day - it is not about how people think of me or what i have done, but hopefully that they can see, this God who is above all. the God who leads us all, the God who loves us all, the God who is holy and above all. the God who called us into His presence, because when He gets the greatest glory, we get the greatest joy.
because this life we live, we live for christ & christ alone. yet, many of us, especially me, do not understand fully the weight of that sentence.

it is not about me.

& i stand ashamed of my pride and how so very often i put myself at the centre of the equation, how sometimes we think we know better than others, we can do better. even in ministry, but no, God uses the weak, the sinful, the ungodly. and i stand assured of His divine grace, His divine forgiveness, His divine cleansing and I know, that he is working in me to bring me  to completion.

and so, "please be patient with me, for God is not done with me yet."