im learning

i came home feeling really crappy today. but instead of turning to God, i turned to other things to seek comfort. one of them was j. as a result, we quarreled again and that made me feel even worse. it was in the shower that i realised that yea why did i not turn to God? so i came back and looked at a few articles and spend some time with God. and i learnt a few things, firstly, to learn to be amazed at everything but myself. and not to waste so much time and energy thinking about what people think about me. less of me, more of others, more of God. behold God's beauty and we will become more and more like Him (:

here's a song that came to mind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlqDIfS4O3s

and i came across another article that reminded me of how to glorify God at work -
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/how-to-glorify-god-at-work

gonna try and apply it for the next three weeks! placements has honestly not been easy for me, yes its a great learning opportunity and its so different from learning in a classroom setting which i do appreciate. however, im generally someone who takes quite a long time to step out of my shell, and a 5 week placement makes me feel like its not long enough for me to do that. in an environment I'm not used to, what more in an australian environment which im still not fully adapted to, with people that i'm not used to, it really requires a lot from me. im also generally pretty quite and soft spoken, i find my voice becoming a whisper when i make an attempt to say something. so yes, it has been difficult. but i will persevere and press on, and look at every situation as a learning opportunity, or so ill try. there will be good days and bad days, but i hope i will remember to always depend on God, always show His love, and always be thankful.

and in the mean time, please be kind to me! there is always one day in each block where ill come home and just cry. i hope its only one day.

on a side note, its amazing seeing you progress and amazing to see the support a loving wife can bring. it brings me joy when i see that knowing that yes, thats what i want.