j&i turned one yesterday! it feels a bit strange because even though we've been together for one year, we spent more than half of that apart. so its been very different. we needed to learn to cope with the challenges that come with an ldr, sorting out issues through technology instead of face to face (but i guess, we also have to extremely grateful for technology! otherwise we might be stuck with having to write letters and wait for weeks/months for that one letter or just really expensive phonecalls). but yeah! its truly been an experience and i think ive learnt/grown (him too i hope!) through all this. & at least we're now only a 5 hour car ride/1 hour plane ride away as compared to 7-8 hours plane ride. ldr has been tough & no one knows what the future holds, but like he always says, we can trust that God is in control and our future will be whatever He deems best.

on the other hand im really glad i went for prayer&praise last night. p&p at this point doesnt mean much to me since i just came back, am yet to be connected back to a cg and am still trying to settle back in. easy as it sounds, as homely as it may be, there are still adjustments to be made and things to get used to. that being said, im still really thankful that i have a home church to return to(: however, i was really reminded of the importance of coming together as a community to support & encourage each other in this journey. and also reminded about prayer from the book of matthew, chpt 6. he went through the purpose of prayer, the promises of prayer and the power of prayer. ive always been one to struggle with prayer because its something i dont think ive grasped fully as a reality in my life. i know what it is and i can describe its power but i dont think its a reality in my life. perhaps i have yet to fully understand what the power of prayer is. but before that i need to understand the purpose of prayer, the purpose of prayer is definitely not for us to gain glory or for others to see, it is not something we do "for show", but it is about God's glory. first and foremost prayer is not about us, but about Him. so it doesnt matter where we pray, how we pray, whether in front of others or not, thats not the key, the key is God. prayer is a continual communion with God, it isnt performing for people. we need a pure heart as we come before Him in prayer. i hope that this year, ill be able to learn how to pray as someone who believes fully in it, knowing that God will answer, in His own time & in His own way, but He will answer. 

ill just end off with a couple of quotes from the sermon 

"prayer is much more God instructing us than ever it is God being instructed by us" - martin luther

"prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God" - mother theresa

Lord, teach us how to pray

Centre down

I realised how the environment/culture can really change someone. Reflecting back on Korea really made me realise how conducive Australia is/was for me to grow in God and learn more about what it meant to have a God-centred life. Being here, it's really fun and I love the food & shopping & liveliness. But In the midst of cosmetics, makeup, fashion, drinking, having fun, dating, it makes me wonder where God is in all this.. 

It makes me think about myself and how my thoughts can be so preoccupied with things that are of secondary importance, but the world tells you it is of utmost importance. And it scares me to think of how I could be like in a few years time, will I be caught up in the Singaporean mindset, rather then the God mindset? Will I be willing to be different, to not fit in, if that is what God is calling me to? 

Where consumerism is so rampant, where the concept of 'I' is so important, how I feel, what I want, my happiness, I feel like an oddball In wanting to pursue God and His holiness

Yet it is only by His grace that I am where I am today. I'm thankful that Australia had taught me to slow down, to quiet down, and to centre down on Him. To think, reflect, meditate, away from the noises of this world. I'm thankful for friends that encourage me and push me towards God, friends that journey alongside me so I don't feel so alone. Friends that inspire me to model after them. Thankful for the opportunity he has given, for me to see things in a different light 

And what happened to helping the less fortunate, of giving up a comfortable lifestyle to contribute to the needy? To spending time with god everyday and falling in love with him more and more each day. What happened? 

Please don't let go of me God, for tonight I am humbled by Your revelation to me about the condition of my heart, and how easily I am swayed. I do like it here, I do. I even told myself I want to come back again, which I may. But tonight, something just hit me.. 

Stand firm on the truth of God. To be in the world but not of the world, it's tough, very tough. To only have one master. You can only love either god or money. To have no other idols before Him. 

Let's not be defined by culture but by our identity in Christ

Reminders that I need to hear, I do. I miss those conversations. 

Will talk about Korea some other time! It has been great, nonetheless.

2013

Happy 2014 to all you people out there x

and here, the special girl in my life who took leave to pick me from the airport! so touched. she stayed over too and we had a lovely time watching frozen! reliving memories of watching animated movies like brave the last time she came to brissy. sorry if i was too tired to talk much into the night  ): but im sure we have many more opportunities to come (:

2013 has been a great year as well, from what i remember
1. i baked pineapple tarts myself for the first time! first year spending CNY away from home. it was a different experience and i was thankful for the physio family i had there
2. placements
3. completing my thesis
4. graduation
5. leading ocf
6. lots of baking
7. ldr
8. cairns
9. family trip to nz
10. impulsive trip home in the middle of the year
11. breakthrough in dealing with b
12. learning to break out of my own comfort zone & circle
13. zak's visit to bris
14. new and awesome housemates

too many things to think about. shall stop here and elaborate on 2013 some other time!
happy 2014(: