Melbourne tomorrow!!! Yay :) not as excited as I ought to be probably because of how fast everything is going! 

Nonetheless, really thankful for a morning spent with Rigel dear and a night spent with the housemates for the past sem. There is so much I can say but these girls simply hold a very special place in my heart, have been there through all my ups and downs of the past sem and listen to all my rattles and ramblings - including things that I said that might not be the best, and have accepted and loved me for the sinner I am. These girls are girls that have definitely made a different in my life(: was thinking about it today and just felt kinda sad that it was truly our last day together, but it's comforting to know we can still meet up in Singapore and can spend forever in eternity together. 

Watching hunger games twice was also a great and interesting experience! The new details that you watch out for, a slight change in perspective, reminded me of about time where he lived through everything twice. It's amazing how perspective can turn things around even though circumstances do not change. 

What do we hope for?

All of a sudden, time is running out. The red light beeps and reads "card expired". There is still time, and yet there isn't. Time waits for no man. 

But if we look ahead to see the range of possibilities ahead, then our heart beats with excitement. If we look at the past to see the experiences we have had & lived through, we can smile. If we look at the present moment, if we look around us and realise what we have. When we look up and appreciate that precious relationship that triumphs all

When we realise this life is not about us and the way we think this world revolves us or even the human race

When we realise the bigger picture 

Then we can hope. For what is greater than fear? Hope. 

food and more food!

yesterday, i was privileged to watch two of my friends get baptised! its such a joyous occasion and I'm really thankful that I got to witness it (: One of them is my coursemate whom I started to talk to a bit more this year, and the other is such a cute&funny friend that ive made here. Both of them shared their testimonies which were really encouraging to hear (: its always amazing to hear how the gospel changes hearts and lives. especially when you've been believing something your whole life, what does it take to be able to accept something else or something different? It can only be the work of the holy spirit.  

steph(:

wenxian! she looks really afraid of going into the water haha 

such a lovely smile(: congratulations my friend! really thankful to have met you in brissy & had the chance to go out together(:   

our dinner at kuan yin tea house in the valley! 

we had dinner at kuan yin tea house in the valley! its this taiwanese vegeterian place and i really like the decorations there! i had their sweet and sour pork which was yums! most of all really enjoy spending time with this girl! aha we dont go out often but i always enjoy it when we do(: always great & refreshing to hear someone's honest perspectives about things! whether or not we agree with them

happy smiles:D

brunch w maria!

someone else im really thankful for as well. we were quite close in year 1, have been on/off close over the years but she's always someone that i feel comfortable talking to and someone who has been there as a pillar of support over the past four years. have been spending quite a bit of time together since placements & exams ended and im so glad we did! praying that we will not be jaded by what we are doing and to be able to find out what direction we want to head towards! x

always enjoy having a cuppa @ a cafe

corn fritters! really love sweet potato fritters/corn fritters! really really yums. and a different variation to the normal eggs on bread cos sometimes I get sick of it haha. this was at paw paw cafe! they just changed their menu and there's alot of variety and the food is good. go check it out!

this was @ noriko in the city! this jap/korean place. their pancake (okonoyami?) is super super good especially with cheese!! not sure if ill be going back there again but this is definitely worth a try!

cheryl and i's frozen yoghurt!!!! i love froyo(: so yummy and such a happy comfort food! 

yesterday was an emotional day but i learnt
- not to hold onto money so tightly. as the bible says, you cannot love/serve God and money. you can only choose one. its easy to let money be a major factor in our decision making, or to even fret about things because we cant get the "best value" or etc, but why do we let money rule our hearts?  i think a part of it is the society that we were brought up in, that we are afraid to lose out. but at the same time we shouldnt blame society for our sin, at the end of the day, we can choose to set our eyes on things that matter, and not let money rule our hearts. that is not to say that we arent thrifty, but i guess its a fine line betwen being thrifty and letting money rule our hearts and decisions
- not to compare with other people. one reason why i was feeling stressed was when i compared myself to others and i wanted the same thing. when we are surrounded by people who constantly talk about money, it is inevitable that we think we need to strike a good deal too. but at the end of the day, there is no end to comparisons. so dont, we need to walk our own journey(:
- not to downplay other people to comfort myself & make myself feel better. to comfort myself that im doing something right. if i believe im doing something right, that is pleasing in God's eyes, that God wants me to do out of obedience, that God himself is helping me to grow and obey, it doesnt matter what others are doing. that is their journey and their growth.

so it was an emotional day but a day filled with lessons and im glad that j and i could talk things through without getting emotional and personal, that we can share and grow together and even talk about our flaws, about each other's flaws and not get upset. i think, its a step forward(: even though we tend to highlight how good our bf is by spoiling us or pampering us or etc, it is equally loving when they support us in our growth and point us toward God. of course that can sometimes be hard to swallow, but im thankful that we've learnt and can do it as mature adults (i think).

so other than that, my holiday has been filled with food&friends; and quiet moments with thinking&books&God. need more time with God though instead of getting caught up with activities.

times passes too quickly yet it feels like a long time has passed since exams ended, even though its only been a week! the irony of life. alright, time to start packing. seeya!

Post-exams!

Post exams is always such a great time to chill and relax with friends. It's funny how people ask you so what are you going to do now or what did you do today - when basically everyone is just chilling. Cos when you reply them nothing much, just chilling thinking that maybe they have got something exciting happening they say their doing the same thing too. Haha! That's life after exams isn't it (: 

Blue skies, pretty flowers - makes my heart smile (; 

And guess what I came home to in the mail today!! 4 postcards - 3 from j and 1 from Longyi. I love postcards! It really makes my day when I receive them - receiving so many at one shot (also cos I haven't been checking my mail) really makes my week. 

I've been having some issues with some of my 'friends'(?) here, that receiving these makes me feel really comforted and blessed(: thankful! 

Also really reminded this morning that god really brings us through all, gives us pleasures at his right hand, and truly there is so much to be joyful for(: 

Have a good weekend ahead my friends (:

six more hours!

As restless as I can get, I should concentrate on final revision in the next six hours, or should i not?
Are exams for us to show what we know and have learnt over the semester, or are exams the inspiration and motivation for us to learn and study. if we had no exams, how would that change the learning process? will we still have the passion, the drive to learn?

for example, studying the bible. we have no exams. as such, many of us do not actually know the bible as well as we ought to - considering that it is the word of God, it is our book of life, it is everything to us. is it really? how much information can our brain actually contain? and yet, with exams, we still forget what we learn a few years later anyway (sometimes weeks/days)- this comes back to the fundamental question - how much information can our brain contain? and for how long? what does it take, for us to remember. so if i go for a talk now on lets say, running - and its something im supposedly so passionate about and so interested in and im wow-ed by the information - and then a few years later, do i actually remember what ive learnt?

or is it perhaps - what we learn - we need to put into practice, for it to sink into us and our beings, or if what we learnt is directly relevant to our lives, then it makes an impact there and then and then slowly we acquire new knowledge and information and then we grow from there and then things become subconscious, we forget old things and we learn new things and then we just live our lives accordingly. and also things that are important will resurface again and again anyway - and then it slowly sinks into us.

hahahaha sam and her little bubbles of theory.
okay, this is just me procastinating. well six more hours! lets go(:

24 hours!

Almost there sam!!!! Only 24 hours or so to the start of my final paper. and then im DONE (: all done, we made it!! four years of hard work - uni is. before, everything was a means to an end, p sch, sec sch, JC, kinda. well nothing in life is an end but uni is kind of like a mini end. like all the hard work goes in and you emerge from it different. ready to step into a new world. thats exciting isnt it? we dont know what the future holds but there's a path for each and everyone of us.

all the news about the philippines makes me feel like our problems are so shallow, so superfluous. learn to be grateful ...

such a restless day.
& i poured my heart out and all i got was silence. 
is it worth? to be genuine, when the world is not. 
an emotional whirlwind.
what is the meaning of sorry? why do we say sorry? 
to make someone feel better? to make ourselves feel better?
because we know that we've hurt someone, but we would do it anyway. would have done it, will still do it. & what do we do when we are hurt? but i know, God will give me the strength, the courage, the love to go through this. because man will always fail, but not God.
to look beyond self. and think for others.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvX4q9iuvSw

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains Just to share your story, bring you glory, and win souls for you. I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know your truth. I could give away my money and my clothes and my food To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out. Oh, I could succeed at all these things, Find favor with peasants and kings, But if I do not love, I am nothing. I could live a flawless life, Never cheat or steal or lie, And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good. I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to- Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should. I could show up every sunday, lead the choir and Bible study And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend. Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end- Chorus: Songs will fade to silence, Stories, they will cease. The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds. So as I strive to serve you, Won't you make it clear to me, If I do not love, I am nothing. Bridge: If I cannot live my life loving my brother, Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me? Sent to earth from heaven, Humble servant, holy king, Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul, You knew that I'd deny you, crucify you, but nothing could stop you from Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know- Chorus: Songs will fade to silence, Stories will cease, The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds. But your life here has made it clear enough for me to see That if I do not love, I am nothing

so many things we could live for that arent worth living for 
so many things we could do on the outside that might not reflect our hearts
to live & to be true & to love genuinely

dear God, please show me 

Give thanks

Psalms 9:1-2 "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High."

Thankful to the friends that have been encouraging me, listening to me and building me up with their words, with their actions.
Thankful for the opportunity to discuss past year papers with friends.
Thankful for the opportunity to go for a run and have a good breakfast this morning.
Thankful for j who came back safely from thailand and the opportunity to facetime again
Thankful for the people that i find difficult to deal with, because they teach me to grow and to become stronger
Thankful for long calls with je & for the opportunity to support each other in prayer
Thankful for b who cares, and who is willing to ask me whats wrong and to remind me to love and not to let others get me down
Thankful for s for the chinese song that reminded me to obey and follow God with all my heart, all the days of my life
Thankful that even though we are all sinners, we all learn to live in harmony with one another
Thankful
Thankful for m whom ive been spending a lot of time with, that although i always think that im so different from them, there's still genuine friendships
Thankful for the opportunity to go to korea, start work a little later so i can have a good break
Thankful for m who although has changed a lot, is still someone who loves me and whom i love, and is still a friendship given by God
Thankful that I can call God Father, thankful that he has called me into a relationship with Him and that He knows me and loves me. Thankful that through his creation, and through His mighty hand, we can catch a glimpse of His glory
truly, we are blessed x

Like what c said, "take heart in the Lord and reject all negativity! Brace yourself and have a strong heart, tell yourself positive things everyday and not be affected" Sometimes we care too much, but its not good when it gets us down, when it replays over and over again in our minds and torments us. When insensitive words are said, when i feel the need to prove myself or defend myself, when i feel hurt, when i feel like others are wrong. But if God has said that He loves all his children, and nothing can separate us from His love, then who am I to comment or judge? Because the Lord loves, I will love. not love in my own terms, but love in the way God loves - for Perfect love drives out all fear, love forgives, does not get angry, bears all things.

I feel much better now, 5 days of revision (last chance at studying) for the final exam(: Lets go! :D

mixed feelings

going back to sch w mixed feelings. trying my very best not to be negative but there's just so many things that affect me. i dont understand why people must be exclusive, or why people have to fish for information before they are willing to share whats on their mind, or not share until the last minute. people who are double faced/double standards. shant harp on it.

learn to be thankful. to love, to forgive, to think of others before self. learn my dear x

[on a side note, i miss coming home to J who will listen to all my rants. just seeing him alone can make me laugh non stop sometimes. come back from bkk now! ]

cant bring myself to study :/

in the mean time, missing the holidays and the good times that we have x
maybe its silly j enjoying himself in thailand, happy for him though - definitely a well deserved break. cant wait for us to be in the same country again its been 6.5 months and counting and definitely not easy. i really really miss doing so many things together that i would attempt to list them. but i know how crazy/silly we can be/i can be when we're tog. but! as they say, one more day of being apart means one day closer to seeing each other again. press on!(:

churros @ eumundi markets! really want to bring the family there just so i can have more churros. :D

oh how i miss these crazy girls & living together. looking forward to catching up! 

my 23rd birthday with people who mean so much to me 

and i could spend a whole day with these cows! 

on top of the world!

there are certain things that get to me, but that too, will pass. 
at the end of the day, see beyond them and love 

cant stop rolling in bed

because placements are officially over! (:

love having breakfast in bed hahaha

the last placement wasnt fantastic. in fact, there are so many things i could go on&on about but its over and i passed and im done with placements! its almost surreal to know that, the next time i see someone, ill be an official physio. there are times though i still feel like i dont know much but I guess thats why we keep learning and growing! Officially got my starting date approved (: exciting times ahead!

thankful too for fellow physios that i can share how i feel and also get support from them, i guess thats one thing that im really looking forward to back home. the support and feeling comfortable where im working instead of feeling really awkward. there are places where i could get that and places where i couldnt. and that made a huge difference, really praying for good colleagues and environment when i go back!

there were a few things that ive been meaning to blog about
1. BLOOM on the topic of prayer
I really enjoyed the prayer workshop because prayer is something that I grapple with. she started off with saying how there are two ways people think
- God is sovereign so what is going to happen is going to happen anyway
- I pray in order to change God's mind

but the truth is: God is sovereign + We pray = God works.
God works through our prayer. she gave an example of how a mum might be feeding a child. and she gives him 2 pieces of chocolate, knowing that there is more in the fridge and that she will give it to him when he asks. so when he asks for it, she gave it to him. its not a perfect example but it kind of helped me understand it a bit better.

that being said, God can also give us what we do not ask for because of His grace, and in His sovereignty He chooses how we wants to answer our prayer.

there was also this point when she was asking what can we thank God for or what blessings has God showered upon us, and everyone was shouting out "spiritual answers" and she was like you know that material things are also blessings from God. and it just struck me how we always try to make ourselves out to be more spiritual than others but sometimes it limits God in a sense because as the bible says all good things come from God!

also she talked about how the heart of prayer is acknowleding that God is in control and etc

2. About time
this was a good movie! I usually dont do well with time travelling movies since i find the concept very abstract and out of the world, but this was good because I felt like there was a real moral of the story. plus i like the english accent! haha the start of the show was kind of slow and it tooked a while to pick up, but i still enjoyed it nonetheless(:

there were a few things that hit me - if we could go back in time, when would we go back to? would we have changed anything?

there are time when we go like.. i wish blablabla was different/didnt happen/etc.. but then if that one thing changes, then everything changes as well. all our experiences, the good and bad - make us into who we are today. and also how no matter how we try to avoid death, prolonging the time or etc, we have to face it eventually, let go and move on. there was also this part about how do we protect the people we love if we know the trouble looming for them. do we prevent it from happening completely, tell them/nag at them, or let them face it until they come to a conclusion and learn from it?

there was also this question about how do we get ultimate happiness? something i think, i hear/read a lot of people talk about that nowadays - how to have a happy life, how to pursue happiness - the movie talked about how it is about going through each day and enjoying the moment. the dad (i love the dad! he's so cool) asked his son to live through each day as it is without time travelling and face the challenges head on and make the mistakes instead of just going back in time each time he "Screws up" to make things perfect. and then live through the days again a second time without changing anything, and see how that feels. the second time (because he knew the outcome) - he was more able to appreciate and see what was going on around me - the people's emotions/expressions, and also to enjoy the moments much better. and that (According to the movie) is how we find happiness. it isnt about getting it all right, but about our perspective - seeing the good over the bad, taking things as they come and enjoying it.

okay! time to start packing and possibly, start revising (somewhat) for that final exam as an undergrad. yay (: